Flash Fiction Published
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Published Books:
 A Fatal Profit,
published by Tabebuia Press: A Crime/Mystery
novel. When
a medical research scientist
develops an innovative technique to treat
diabetes, his colleague is murdered and
he is framed for the crime. His
daughter convinces a high tech private
detective to help, not knowing he is
an ex-CIA black ops agent hiding from
his own demons.
 A Floridian's
Idaho Adventure: From Oranges to Potatoes, published
by
Tabebuia Press. This
is the story of a lifelong Floridian who moved his
wife
and four cats 2,800 miles across the
continent to a land called Idaho. (Not
Iowa). Accustomed to year-round sunshine,
sandy beaches, ocean waves,
and fresh oranges, he suddenly faced
sub-zero temperatures, frozen white
stuff dropping from the sky, black ice on
twisting mountain highways, and
potatoes. The result is this
collection of short humorous essays illustrating
the differences he discovered between Florida
and Idaho, while poking fun at
both states.
About the Author:
Howard Dart Humeston uses the pseudonym “Howard
Dart” for his books as then he doesn’t have to tell
people how to pronounce “Humeston”. Hum-is-ton. That
often leads into the story about his distant relative
in England being chased by savage invading vikings up
the Humber river. Trust us, no one wants to hear that
story again. Mr. Humeston
has Attention Distraction Disorder, a made
up variant of ADHD.
He writes and photographs full time these days. His
previous employment history reads like a bad Kurt
Vonnegut story, one he wrote while a one-eyed liquored
up raccoon was riding his shoulders and biting his
left ear.
It includes stints
as a mid-level manager at an atheist TV preacher’s
church in Miami, photographing automobiles for a
trade publication, working as a janitor at a blood
plasma donation center, a clerk at a college
library, performing copy machine maintenance,
as an ice cream scooper at a Baskin Robbins Ice
Cream store and various short term retail jobs. One
of his favorite jobs was as a restaurant mystery
shopper that took him all over the state of Florida
eating at diners and fast food joints, where he
developed a dysfunctional relationship with
antacids.
Later he established a respectable career as
a Branch Manager in banking, then as a full-time
real estate agent and in 1990 worked in middle
management in the U.S. Census Bureau where he says
he resigned suddenly but the Census Bureau refuses
to even discuss the matter.
Eventually he migrated to higher education where
he worked seventy hour weeks at a university in Miami
as an Assistant Dean, Director of Financial Aid and
adjunct faculty for twenty-five years.
Somewhere along the way he earned a Bachelor’s of
Liberal Studies degree and a Master of Science degree
in Higher Education.
Mr. Humeston has won numerous meaningless
awards during his chaotic series of careers, but his
most treasured award is the one he received in his
1960 first grade class for “Excellent Behavior”.
Having achieved this pinnacle of honors,
things went
downhill from there.
Mr. Humeston was born in Miami,
Florida and lived for a time in Boise,
Idaho. He is
currently residing in a small town
in south central
Florida. He is focused on writing and
visiting as many
good coffee shops as possible. (Mr.
Humeston gave up
coffee once. It was the worse ten minutes
of his life!)
Mr. Humeston is
married with a daughter and four
cats. The cats are single.
Pictured below are his writing assistants:
Simon, Dewey, Yogi and Louie.
Simon is the head editor, Dewey plot developer,
Yogi creative consultant and Louie the proof editor.
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